Revealed: Katie Holmes’ mystery man!
Usually when you break up with someone, the general rule is that you can be sad one week for each year the two of you were together. Unless of course you voluntarily ended it, grabbed your daughter, and flew across the country just so that you could get away with him. Then I guess you’re allowed, like, three days of Ben & Jerry’s binging, tops. Which is probably why when Katie Holmes was seen out to dinner with a man, everyone assumed she had already rebounded. Except not really, because that was actually just her lawyer. E! Online reports:
Has Katie Holmes already moved on with her love life (you know how popular rebound romances are in Hollywood)? The actress was seen enjoying a dinner date in New York City Friday night at the NoMad Hotel in Manhattan’s Gramercy neighborhood with a man we thought might be a possible new fling for Tom Cruise’s ex, but ‘twas not the case. According to People, Holmes was enjoying the company of Jonathan Wolfe, her lawyer, and his wife Renee.
Jonathan Wolfe you say? We now know the name of the single best lawyer in the world! Seriously, do you know what kind chutzpah you need to not only break it off with Tom Cruise, but up and leave him and put an entire country between him and Suri Cruise … then come out of that the winner? Actually, are we sure Jonathan isn’t a sorcerer? That’s it, isn’t it? Jonathan is a sorcerer. Case closed.
Katie Holmes’ interview a day before filing for divorce
Every once in a while, the stars line up in such a way that a reporter will get a pretty major scoop and not even know it. Sorta like what happened to a reporter from C Magazine who just so happened to interview Katie Holmes, one day before she filed for divorce from Tom Cruise! That is some super sweet timing no matter how you play it. From WWD:
Elle isn’t the only magazine with good timing on its side. C Magazine shot Holmes for its September issue just seven days before she filed for divorce and the interview took place only one day prior to her big announcement. Senior editor Kelsey McKinnon, who met with Holmes for the interview, said that while the actress wasn’t bragging about her five-year marriage, she certainly didn’t seem to be standing at the edge of a precipice, either. “Going back over the tapes, there were signs: Holmes was certainly very aware of herself, laying a couple cards on the table but never showing her whole hand,” McKinnon wrote. “Most noticeably, the one name decisively absent from her lexicon: Tom Cruise. She never actually refers to him by name over pages and pages of transcription.” When McKinnon asked if having Suri brought the couple closer together, Holmes added, “I don’t know. I mean…I don’t know. People have been having babies a long time.”
For the record, this story becomes infinitely cooler when you frame it as “this is the exact moment Katie shut off her microchip and went rogue”, which is how I’m looking at this. Also, android assassin Katie has a super sweet motorcycle and weapons. ALL THE WEAPONS.
Tom Cruise is suing Life & Style
As a result of Katie Holmes having an iron-clad divorce case and also Tom Cruise believing he’s Professor Charles Xavier, Katie has full-custody of Suri, while Tom gets weekend visits. Most people would just take this as it is — regular divorce stuff — but not Life & Style magazine! Nope, they full on wrote that he abandoned Suri, which … I don’t care how crazy your religion is, that’s sort of off-limits. TMZ reports:
Attorney Bert Fields just fired off an email, attacking Life & Style, for what he says is “a bogus cover headline that Suri has been ‘ABANDONED BY HER DAD.’”
Fields says, “That, as anyone knows who saw their photos together yesterday and today, is a disgusting, vicious lie.” Fields goes on, “Until this week, Tom was shooting a film on location, but he spoke to Suri every day.”
Fields adds, “He’s with Suri right now; and he was with her the day before Life & Style trumpeted their cruelly false accusation. Tom dearly loves Suri and the last thing he would ever do is abandoned her.”
I have no doubt that Tom loves Suri, even if he believes in a weird religion, so honestly, I would never bring into question someone’s parenting. Seriously, the fastest way to getting your ass-kicked by an adult in baby-puke covered jeans is to tell them they suck at parenting. The only time it’s allowed is when you’re talking about someone from Teen Mom, because let’s face it: they’re awful!
Tom Cruise can control people with his mind?
You know, we’ve made some jokes about Scientology in the past, mostly because we were just so jealous of all the people who believe such a cool religion filled with aliens and explosions. But now there’s a report out saying that Tom Cruise has attained one of the highest levels in Scientology and he can now move objects with his mind, astral project, and control animals with his brain. Wow, it must be true, otherwise this would all be hilariously stupid! The Daily Mail reports:
Tom Cruise, 50, is the most famous follower of the religion and an investigation by Rolling Stone back in 2006 revealed that he had reached an advanced level of Scientology and was known as an ‘Operating Thetan’ or an ‘OT’. The author of the investigation, Janet Reitman, explained that OTs ‘have total control over themselves and their environment. Following his split from Katie Holmes bizarre aspects of the church’s beliefs have emerged but this latest revelation of Tom’s relationship with Scientology is perhaps the strangest yet. ‘OTs can allegedly move inanimate objects with their minds, leave their bodies at will and telepathically communicate with, and control the behaviour of, both animals and human beings.’ Tom, who is understood to be at the advanced stage of OT VII, has practised the religion for 30 years and therefore has allegedly reached a rarefied state of enlightenment after traveling what is known as the Bridge to Total Freedom.
Oh, I think I played this game before. Is this the one where eating fireflowers lets you throw fireballs at turtle monsters, or the one where you have to collect golden jigsaw pieces to save your sister from a witch? Honestly, I really hope this is true, because if it is, congratulations Tom, you just won religion.
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached an agreement!
Barely a week after Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise in order to keep her daughter Suri Cruise off of Scientology’s magical brain-washing/slavery cruise ship bonanza (no homos allowed) it looks like the two have finally reached an agreement. Namely: Katie is taking the kid and running and Tom will continue being delusional. People magazine reports:
"The case has been settled and the agreement has been signed. We are thrilled for Katie and her family and are excited to watch as she embarks on the next chapter of her life. This result could not have been achieved without the hard work of my partner Gary Skoloff and our co-counsel Allan Mayefsky, Michael Mosberg and Larry Trachtenberg of Aronson Mayefsky and Sloan and Peter Walzer and Chris Melcher of Walzer & Melcher in California. We thank Tom’s counsel for their professionalism and diligence that helped bring about this speedy resolution."
Gee, I wonder what kind of dirt Katie had over Tom to allow this? Because it’s not like there’s a long and storied history of Scientology and Tom being absolutely bananas crazy in a way that would make any court scream “NO KIDS FOR YOU!” None whatsoever.
Katie Holmes is trapped in Tom Cruise’s prison!
hey boys & girls - hot off the tabloid express here’s the latest cover of STAR magazine! there have been so many rumors recently about some sorta impending ‘event’ being all prepped for over at the scientology celebrity centre (just a hop, skip, & creepy jump from my apartment - i’m gonna do a drive-by in a bit)…if kat(i)e holmes needs to escape tom cruise's (mind) prison then her wedding (or brainwashing ceremony) would be the perfect place for a little runaway action! could you imagine - ms. holmes going on the lam? taking her baby girl (doll) with her? gosh then we would never see suri…i will agree with the cover for sure on one point…her career is in ruins (yes in better shape than mel gibson's) i can't wait to see if/when she does another movie…marking her first 'dazed' performance under the spell of tom! popbytes over & out for now…as usual i will be back with a few more fun items from the latest issue of STAR!
What is wrong with baby Suri Cruise?
… and why is kat(i)e hiding her? well for starters suri cruise's daddy - tom is off his fucking rocker and second her mommy - ms. holmes has turned into some sorta scientologist programmed soul (her old friends must just be like WTF?!?) seriously people what is up with all this tomkat craziness? well at least kat(i)e did get to do some recent shopping at barneys - that always helps!
at this point when baby cruise finally does make her first public appearance it’s going to seem so anti-climatic…STAR magazine this week investigates the whole suri mystery and even hypothesizes on where she could make her debut…check back as i will be posting some more gossip items from inside the mag…popbytes over & out - xxoo!
PS i wish her no ill will but i really could care less about christie brinkley and her creepy soon to be ex-hubby peter cook
Katie Holmes is not dead!
… but Katie Holmes should be because she is wearing white heels with a black dress! Oh the horror … it just doesn’t go together, black pumps would have been a MUCH better choice … yes, I know she did just give birth to baby Suri Cruise but still that is not an excuse for such a huge fashion faux pas! No one made any mention of those white heels of hers, who would have snagged pics of her shoes? PopBytes did! Thanks to my co-worker David who hung back after work Thursday night to snap some pictures of the whole Tom Cruise Hollywood Blvd. circus aka the Los Angeles MI3 premiere! Check out the pictures below and please watch the video I tossed together in iMovie entitled Katie Holmes is not dead!, made to commemorate her first public appearance since giving birth, all set to the title song off Pink's latest album I’m Not Dead, please enjoy! I did have a lot of fun making it but as you can see it’s very late here in Hollywood … PopBytes is so over and out for tonight…xxoo!