Posts tagged "Sex Tapes"

Who wants to see a Prince Harry sex tape?

In case you were wondering how long it would take Vivid Entertainment to offer millions to Prince Harry for a sex tape after nude pictures ended up on line: four. The answer was four days. Anyway, in light of Prince Harry’s meat and two veg hitting the web after a trip to Vegas, Vivid is offering the Prince a rather nice $10 Million for a sex tape. Which … I’m sorry, I’m trying to do the math here, and I can’t help but feel like that would be crappy deal for both sides. But I digress … TMZ reports …

Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch just fired off a letter to the royal palace in London — offering Prince Harry $10 million to star in a big budget adult film called The Trouble with Harry … thanks to his recent naked romp in Vegas. According to the letter, the film would also star “little Harry” and would feature some REAL royal carousing — in the form of full-on boning. Hirsch writes, “We assure you the sex will be well-scripted, and the crown jewels will not be ‘minimized’ in any way.”

Wait, did they try and bring Prince Harry on board by making fun of his dick size? Ouch. That’s cold. Come on, Vivid, you’re losing your touch! You used to offer lucrative sex tape deals to disgraced celebrities for the sake of riding the publicity within hours of their scandal. Now it’s taking you four days to run one off for Prince Harry? You can do better than that! Bitch, you better come harder. Oh, wow, I just realized what a poor choice of words that was. Oh well.

Prince Harry

So Kris Jenner didn’t sell Kim Kardashian’s sex tape?

Last week, rumors circulated that Kris Jenner sold Kim Kardashian's infamous sex tape to Vivid Entertainment, which … d’uh. Honestly, if this turns out to be true, it would probably be the least surprising thing I’ve ever heard. “Kris sold Kim’s sex tape. Huh. Yeah, I can see that. This mayonnaise has 25% less fat than the leading brand? WITCHCRAFT!” Well, now Vivid is rebuking the claims, saying that Kris would never do something that totally fits into her wheelhouse. Via The Examiner

Vivid Entertainment, the company that released the Kardashian video in 2007, has come forward to state that Jenner had no hand whatsoever in pushing the X-rated clip. According to a follow-up story by Celebuzz on Friday, August 10th, Vivid is setting the record straight. “Every so often someone comes out with a bogus story about Kim’s sex tape,” claimed Steven Hirsch, founder and co-CEO of Vivid Entertainment. “Let me be perfectly clear, Kris Jenner had absolutely nothing to do with the deal and ultimate distribution of Kim Kardashian, Superstar. To suggest anything different is both ridiculous and irresponsible, period.”

No, of course Kris didn’t sell the tapes. She just let Kim walk into Vivid Entertainment, sign page after page of release forms that would allow them to legally put the tape on the consumer market, provide them with two pieces of valid government issue I.D., and then allow the entire family to profit off the sex tape which could have been easily buried at the time using the family’s already existing bank account and lawyers because this was back before Kim was even remotely noteworthy. But selling it? Now that would be just wrong.

Kim Kardashian

Kris Jenner sold Kim Kardashian’s sex tape herself?

At this point, if you told me that Kris Jenner sometimes drinks the tears of her daughter because it gets rid of crows feet, I would probably just say shrug my shoulders and go “well d’uh.” Because Kris is awful and that’s really her one and only marketable skill. Seriously, I always kind of figured that Kris was an awful enough mother that she probably organized Kim Kardashian's sex tape all on her own, and according to an anonymous source, I was completely right all along. RadarOnline reports …

"Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim’s tape," the source told Star magazine of Kim’s on-camera tryst with then-boyfriend Ray J. “The video already existed, and Kris was there every step of the way as a middleman brought in to market it to an adult entertainment company.” The title of the adult flick released from Vivid Entertainment was Kim Kardashian, Superstar, which the source said had Kris over the moon. “That must have thrilled Kris since you could hardly call Kim a household name at that point in time,” the insider said. Despite denials that Kris had anything to do with the release of Kim’s sex tape, and Khloé Kardashian calling the idea “disgusting and disturbing,” the source passed a polygraph test with Star magazine. “I saw Kris Jenner’s signature on the contract; I believe she got somewhere between $250,000 and $500,000 for the original deal with the middleman,” the source said.

Lest you think that Kris is just a sleazy opportunist, she’s also allegedly a terrible mother to boot!

As RadarOnline was first to report, the Kardashian’s former nanny Pam Behan said, “I believe [Kris] was grooming her children for their current celebrity status their entire lives … I do believe that the success they enjoy now is what she always hoped for and wanted for them and for herself.” Meanwhile, Kris’ never-ending drive for fame and wealth are coming at a great cost, the insider said. “Everything she does in this world, every decision she makes on her daughters’ behalf, is based on greed and publicity,” the source said. “And has nothing to do with her family’s stability or happiness.”

So all this to say, Kris is an opportunistic famewhore perfectly content with sacrificing her daughters’ happiness if it means people will know who she is. To which I say: yeah, we kind of already knew that. What, did you think Kris was famous because she was talented or had a likable personality? Nooooooooooope. Rampant famewhoring of her daughters, that’s what did the trick.

Kim Kardashian

Carly Rae Jepsen has a sex tape?

You know you’ve made it big when people start circulating grainy videos of what they purport to be you makin’ the sexy times. Such is the case with Canadian Carly Rae Jepsen whose song "Call Me Maybe" has blown up so hard that now people are claiming that she already has a sex tape floating around out there. Except it turns out that’s not really her, and I mean really, was there ever a chance it was? She’s a little too cutesy-poo to do the nasty on camera. Via The Toronto Sun:

“Crazy morning. Discovered that someone put up a sex tape claiming to be me. Ridiculous. Obviously not me,” the singer wrote on Twitter. Grainy video footage of a woman closely resembling Jepsen engaged in intimate acts with a male companion began spreading across the Internet early Monday afternoon. Following the release of the sex tape, Twitter was overflowing with comments from people weighing in on the situation — many of whom remained skeptical it was indeed the singer in the video.

I refuse to make on more freaking joke about “Call Me Maybe,” because it’s been done to death and there’s no way I’m going to try and kick one more laugh out of that dead horse. So let’s see if I can scavenge something out of her other songs … ummm, a Carly Rae Jepsen sex tape would be a real “Curiosity”? No? Crap … well, ummmm … oh, gosh, she did a song with Owl City? That whiny emo douchebag? Oh hells naw.

Carly Rae Jepsen

Kim Kardashian mocked Paris Hilton’s sex tape

Generally speaking, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton have pretty similar skill sets and career paths: they were both born into rich families, have absolutely no talent or otherwise likeable traits whatsoever, got famous for a sex tape, and managed to turn that into a series of increasingly banal and insufferable TV shows, all the while pretending that they somehow earned all of this. So here’s Kim making fun of Paris’ sex tape, because being a hypocritical bitch is pretty squarely in her wheelhouse. TooFab reports:

If there’s one person who probably shouldn’t make a sex tape joke, it’s Kim Kardashian. But that didn’t stop her from making one on last night’s episode of her reality show. On Sunday’s Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim and mom Kris Jenner went on a mission to spy on Bruce Jenner during a golf game with former supermodel Angie Everhart. When they got to the golf course, Kris asked her daughter “Do you have a night vision camera?”

"No," Kim shot back, "That was Paris Hilton." Of course, Kim is referencing Hilton’s famous sex tape with ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon.

Ha! It’s funny because Paris is only famous for being rich and awful and making a sex tape, but Kim is completely different, because she’s only famous for being rich and awful and making a sex tape with proper lighting! See how that works? If only Paris had used stage lights and had her mom allegedly behind the scenes to direct the hardcore action, things would have worked out better for her too.

Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian

Minka Kelly might have a sex tape

All right, consider this post an experiment of sorts. When we posted about Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman's solo porn video, it exploded. Like, you have NO idea how fast it took off. Bonkers numbers. Absolutely bonkers numbers. Now, we’re going to post this story about actress Minka Kelly (probably best known for dating Derek Jeter) having a sex tape floating around out there (possibly made while she was underage), we’re going to see whether or not this blows up as heavily as Octomom. Our findings here on PopBytes will be recorded for future generations. TMZ reports:

The tape … which is 30-minutes long … was shot in New Mexico and features Minka Kelly with an ex-boyfriend. The tape is shot in a semi-professional manner. The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera. It’s unclear how old Minka was when the tape was shot. Two songs from Brandy’s second album, Never Say Never, are playing in the background. The album was released on June 8, 1998 — 16 days before Minka’s 18th birthday. But one source questioned whether the song was added after the fact to make it appear she was over 18.

Now, I really don’t know who Minka is, save for the fact that she’s (A) gorgeous and (B) has big boobs, which brings in the straight boys like flies to honey. That being said, Octomom popped out fourteen kids from her lady bits. Which one will you guys go for? Let the experiment … COMMENCE!

Minka Kelly

Kris Jenner had Kim Kardashian re-shoot her sex tape?

Every fiber of my being believes this is a screaming “YES” because stupid famewhores and sex tapes are kind of squarely in my wheelhouse, but for now the best we can say is “allegedly, yes.” Anyway, Kris Humphries recently dumped his girlfriend, who’s using the opportunity to sell every little bit of info he sent her way, up to and including the fact that Kris Jenner allegedly made her daughter Kim Kardashian re-shoot her now infamous sex tape because it just wasn’t pretty enough. TMZ reports:

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj … telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn’t think the first one was pretty enough. As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim’s divorce case, and we’ve learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.

Wait, people are surprised by this? You’re kidding right? If this is true, this would quite possibly be the most sensible thing I’ve ever written. Honestly, I could write a post about how the sky is blue and food is delicious and water is wet and it would still not illicit as many “well d’uh”s as a post about how Kris would force her kids to perform thinly-veiled publicity stunts for the sake of attention.

Kim Kardashian and Ray J

A Ray J and Whitney Houston sex tape?

I’m not sure why Ray J feels the need to video tape himself having sex all the time (what, is he afraid he’ll forget it?) but the guy who brought you the Kim Kardashian sex tape that launched the horrid megalomaniac’s career is rumored to be sitting on a couple Whitney Houston sex tapes. Yup. Remember how much people started charging for The Bodyguard after Whitney’s death? Well, guess how much her sex tape will run you. RadarOnline reports:

The Houston family has “been in contact with Ray and told him they do not want any photos or videos painting her in a bad light to come out,” the source said, adding the famous family “explained to Ray that now is the time to honor Whitney, not drag her legacy down.” The insider said the younger brother of singer Brandy has “been stalling” to sell, or hand them over, them to Whitney’s family “because he knows he’s sitting on a gold mine.”

Just putting this out there, but, ummm … If you release a Whitney sex tape, you can pretty much kiss your career goodbye. Did you see the backlash against Sony and iTunes when they tried to hike up the price of Whitney songs by a couple bucks after her untimely death? Imagine what will happen when you try and charge the world to watch you bang a deceased Whitney. It will literally involve pitchforks and torches.

UPDATE VIA TMZ: Ray J is adamant … he is NOT secretly harboring a stash of sexually explicit photos and video, depicting him and Whitney Houston in the throes of passion — because no such stash exists. There have been reports … Ray is sitting on a hoard of sex tapes and XXX photos — holding them over the Houston family as ransom — because he knows they’re worth a pretty penny. But Ray J’s rep tells TMZ, “The despicable tabloid report released today claiming the existence of a sex tape between Ray J and Whitney Houston is not true … There is no sex tape.” Sources extremely close to Ray J tell us the singer insists he NEVER took sexually explicit pics of Whitney … or recorded ANY of their intimate encounters.

Ray J and Whitney Houston

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