Posts tagged "Ray J"

So Kris Jenner didn’t sell Kim Kardashian’s sex tape?

Last week, rumors circulated that Kris Jenner sold Kim Kardashian's infamous sex tape to Vivid Entertainment, which … d’uh. Honestly, if this turns out to be true, it would probably be the least surprising thing I’ve ever heard. “Kris sold Kim’s sex tape. Huh. Yeah, I can see that. This mayonnaise has 25% less fat than the leading brand? WITCHCRAFT!” Well, now Vivid is rebuking the claims, saying that Kris would never do something that totally fits into her wheelhouse. Via The Examiner

Vivid Entertainment, the company that released the Kardashian video in 2007, has come forward to state that Jenner had no hand whatsoever in pushing the X-rated clip. According to a follow-up story by Celebuzz on Friday, August 10th, Vivid is setting the record straight. “Every so often someone comes out with a bogus story about Kim’s sex tape,” claimed Steven Hirsch, founder and co-CEO of Vivid Entertainment. “Let me be perfectly clear, Kris Jenner had absolutely nothing to do with the deal and ultimate distribution of Kim Kardashian, Superstar. To suggest anything different is both ridiculous and irresponsible, period.”

No, of course Kris didn’t sell the tapes. She just let Kim walk into Vivid Entertainment, sign page after page of release forms that would allow them to legally put the tape on the consumer market, provide them with two pieces of valid government issue I.D., and then allow the entire family to profit off the sex tape which could have been easily buried at the time using the family’s already existing bank account and lawyers because this was back before Kim was even remotely noteworthy. But selling it? Now that would be just wrong.

Kim Kardashian

Kris Jenner sold Kim Kardashian’s sex tape herself?

At this point, if you told me that Kris Jenner sometimes drinks the tears of her daughter because it gets rid of crows feet, I would probably just say shrug my shoulders and go “well d’uh.” Because Kris is awful and that’s really her one and only marketable skill. Seriously, I always kind of figured that Kris was an awful enough mother that she probably organized Kim Kardashian's sex tape all on her own, and according to an anonymous source, I was completely right all along. RadarOnline reports …

"Kris was totally involved in arranging the sale of Kim’s tape," the source told Star magazine of Kim’s on-camera tryst with then-boyfriend Ray J. “The video already existed, and Kris was there every step of the way as a middleman brought in to market it to an adult entertainment company.” The title of the adult flick released from Vivid Entertainment was Kim Kardashian, Superstar, which the source said had Kris over the moon. “That must have thrilled Kris since you could hardly call Kim a household name at that point in time,” the insider said. Despite denials that Kris had anything to do with the release of Kim’s sex tape, and Khloé Kardashian calling the idea “disgusting and disturbing,” the source passed a polygraph test with Star magazine. “I saw Kris Jenner’s signature on the contract; I believe she got somewhere between $250,000 and $500,000 for the original deal with the middleman,” the source said.

Lest you think that Kris is just a sleazy opportunist, she’s also allegedly a terrible mother to boot!

As RadarOnline was first to report, the Kardashian’s former nanny Pam Behan said, “I believe [Kris] was grooming her children for their current celebrity status their entire lives … I do believe that the success they enjoy now is what she always hoped for and wanted for them and for herself.” Meanwhile, Kris’ never-ending drive for fame and wealth are coming at a great cost, the insider said. “Everything she does in this world, every decision she makes on her daughters’ behalf, is based on greed and publicity,” the source said. “And has nothing to do with her family’s stability or happiness.”

So all this to say, Kris is an opportunistic famewhore perfectly content with sacrificing her daughters’ happiness if it means people will know who she is. To which I say: yeah, we kind of already knew that. What, did you think Kris was famous because she was talented or had a likable personality? Nooooooooooope. Rampant famewhoring of her daughters, that’s what did the trick.

Kim Kardashian

Kris Jenner had Kim Kardashian re-shoot her sex tape?

Every fiber of my being believes this is a screaming “YES” because stupid famewhores and sex tapes are kind of squarely in my wheelhouse, but for now the best we can say is “allegedly, yes.” Anyway, Kris Humphries recently dumped his girlfriend, who’s using the opportunity to sell every little bit of info he sent her way, up to and including the fact that Kris Jenner allegedly made her daughter Kim Kardashian re-shoot her now infamous sex tape because it just wasn’t pretty enough. TMZ reports:

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj … telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn’t think the first one was pretty enough. As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim’s divorce case, and we’ve learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.

Wait, people are surprised by this? You’re kidding right? If this is true, this would quite possibly be the most sensible thing I’ve ever written. Honestly, I could write a post about how the sky is blue and food is delicious and water is wet and it would still not illicit as many “well d’uh”s as a post about how Kris would force her kids to perform thinly-veiled publicity stunts for the sake of attention.

Kim Kardashian and Ray J

A Ray J and Whitney Houston sex tape?

I’m not sure why Ray J feels the need to video tape himself having sex all the time (what, is he afraid he’ll forget it?) but the guy who brought you the Kim Kardashian sex tape that launched the horrid megalomaniac’s career is rumored to be sitting on a couple Whitney Houston sex tapes. Yup. Remember how much people started charging for The Bodyguard after Whitney’s death? Well, guess how much her sex tape will run you. RadarOnline reports:

The Houston family has “been in contact with Ray and told him they do not want any photos or videos painting her in a bad light to come out,” the source said, adding the famous family “explained to Ray that now is the time to honor Whitney, not drag her legacy down.” The insider said the younger brother of singer Brandy has “been stalling” to sell, or hand them over, them to Whitney’s family “because he knows he’s sitting on a gold mine.”

Just putting this out there, but, ummm … If you release a Whitney sex tape, you can pretty much kiss your career goodbye. Did you see the backlash against Sony and iTunes when they tried to hike up the price of Whitney songs by a couple bucks after her untimely death? Imagine what will happen when you try and charge the world to watch you bang a deceased Whitney. It will literally involve pitchforks and torches.

UPDATE VIA TMZ: Ray J is adamant … he is NOT secretly harboring a stash of sexually explicit photos and video, depicting him and Whitney Houston in the throes of passion — because no such stash exists. There have been reports … Ray is sitting on a hoard of sex tapes and XXX photos — holding them over the Houston family as ransom — because he knows they’re worth a pretty penny. But Ray J’s rep tells TMZ, “The despicable tabloid report released today claiming the existence of a sex tape between Ray J and Whitney Houston is not true … There is no sex tape.” Sources extremely close to Ray J tell us the singer insists he NEVER took sexually explicit pics of Whitney … or recorded ANY of their intimate encounters.

Ray J and Whitney Houston

Ray J leaks his sex life with Kim Kardashian

HA! Get it? Because the only reason Kim Kardashian is famous is because Ray J peed on her in a sex tape that she sold herself because she’s an opportunistic cretin? Oh, I am good sometimes … anyway, Ray J is the latest celebrity who thinks that an ability to do something entirely removed from writing somehow means he can write, which means he’s going to (get a ghostwriter to) pen his autobiography in which he discusses how Kim loves the black dick and being a jealous harpy. The Huffington Post reports:

"[KK] let me know she wanted to get with me. She left her husband for me as soon as we started having sex."

The R&B singer also reveals “KK’s” seduction secrets, like greeting him with hot towels and toothpaste on his toothbrush in the morning and providing sexy lingerie fashion shows at night. Ray J doesn’t hold back when it comes to writing about their sex life, either.

"We were like animals; sexually free to try anything, and we did. For years KK and I had a great sex life," he writes. "There was more to our relationship, but the majority of it was about our wild and extreme sexual chemistry. She was a straight freak who was down to do whatever, whenever and that seriously hypnotized me."

But Ray J said things took a turn for the worst with his former flame, when jealousy reared its ugly head. “She wanted to know where I was at all times,” he writes. “She literally thought I was cheating with every girl I ran across.”

Of course, he was cheating on her, but said since she cheated on her husband with him, he never trusted her. “I had no respect for her,” he writes.

Hmmmm, so Kim was cheating on her first husband with a guy who she accused of cheating on her with every girl he saw? You have to realize that this is pretty much par for the course when you’re an awful human being. I mean, she could just cheat on her husband, but that wouldn’t be shitty enough, so let’s also sit her on top of the high horse where she thinks it’s wrong to cheat because, and I’m sure this must come as a shock to some of you, but Kim Kardashian is a bad human being.

Ray J and Kim Kardashian

Kris Humphries sat next to Ray J on a plane!

I’ve never been a huge believer in Karma, mostly because any universe that would allow Donald Trump to douche his way into billions of his father’s dollars without getting dick-punched into a coma clearly has its priorities misaligned. But lo and behold, I have been proven wrong: According to FanPhooey, after Kim Kardashian's own wedding was overshadowed by the KIM KARDASHIAN SEX TAPE SHE PURPOSELY RELEASED ONTO THE MARKET, Kim's hubbie Kris Humphries boarded a flight where he ended up sitting next to Ray J, the guy who peed on her in said sex tape. HA!

Apparently it only took a few minutes before Mr. Kardashian couldn’t take the awkwardness anymore and he moved to a seat in front of Ray J. Deciding to be the bigger man, Ray J walked up and congratulated Humphries on the wedding. Humphries acted at first as if he had no idea who the singer was (as if he doesn’t see his face in his nightmares every single night), until Ray J finally said “‘Come on, you know who I am. I just want to say congratulations” Humphries finally admitted that he knew who he was, and thanked him for his congratulations.

Fucking. Awesome. HA! Serves you right. There’s nothing wrong with doing porn (in fact, it’s actually pretty awesome), but if you’re going to get dirty and then try and pretend like you’re some chaste saint that’s just sooooooo above it, don’t be surprised when we call you out for being a slut. You can’t have your whore cake and pee on it too, honey.

Kris Humphries and Ray J

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