Posts tagged "Pregnant"

GROSS: Michael Lohan got Kate Major pregnant

Earlier today, I talked about how Lindsay Lohan was basically called out as a colossal liar by Porsche — FREAKING PORSCHE — after she plowed her car into a truck and blamed the brakes. As I was typing that, part of me wondered, “what happened in Lindsay’s life that made her the way she is today?” Then I read this story about how Michael Lohan got Kate Major pregnant in the worst way possible, then it dawned on me: Lindsay swam out of this asshole’s scrotum. Mystery solved. TMZ reports:

There’s going to be a new addition to the Lohan litter — but fear not … it’s not Lindsay who’s preggers. TMZ has learned Lindsay’s gonna have another sibling, courtesy of Kate Major and Michael Lohan. According to our sources, Kate is in her first trimester. But get this … the restraining order she had against MiLo was lifted only a few weeks ago … so the act of conception was illegal.

Just a few things to keep in mind about Michael and Kate’s relationship here:

I give this kid three months before he/she starts plowing rented Porsches into baby carriages.

Michael Lohan and Kate Major

Adele is pregnant!

If you were expecting another sad break-up album out of Adele … well, good news and bad news. The bad news is that you’re gonna have to stare forlornly out of a window while listening to someone else’s album, because the good news is that Adele is pregnant (with boyfriend Simon Konecki) and has no time for brokenhearted sadness! Yay! Entertainment Weekly reports:

Looks like Adele will have something a little happier to sing about in the coming months. The chart-topping singer, 24, announced via a blog post on Friday that she’s expecting her first child with boyfriend Simon Konecki. The statement reads: I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together. I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time. Yours always, Adele xx

We’re honest to God totally happy for her right now. Honestly, after building your music career on heartache, I think a baby is a nice way of closing that chapter off. Also: first person to make a fat joke gets punched right in the funstuff. Just POW. In the hoo-ha.

Adele and Simon Konecki

Megan Fox is pregnant … maybe!

Half of Star magazine’s revenue comes from randomly pointing at a celebrity and screaming PREGNANT! A practice which gets inherently awkward when it turns out the celebrity doesn’t have fertilized eggs but does have a lawyer, but things like “logic” and “facts” have never gotten in their way before, so why start now? Anyway, the latest celebrity who is “pregnant” (tentatively speaking) is Megan Fox, who got knocked up by Brian Austin Green. Via RadarOnline:

"They just found out and are incredibly excited," a source close to the couple told Star, noting that the pregnancy was unexpected. However, it’s unlikely the Transformers actress will be going public with the news just yet, as the source says: “It’s still early, so they are only telling close friends and family members.” Since tying the knot in 2010, Megan has become stepmother to Brian’s 10-year-old son, Kassius, who he had with ex Vanessa Marcil. “Megan has become a great stepmom, and Brian knows she’ll be wonderful with the baby,” the source said.

Well, we wish them all the best if this pregnancy thing turns out to actually be happening. And if not, all the best to ‘em anyway, because I’m pretty Michael Bay is plotting Megan’s death just as soon as he finishes killing the credibility of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which I’m pretty sure will have changed into Adult Alien Samurai Newts by the time he’s done with it.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green

Jessica Simpson: Naked and pregnant in Elle!

For some reason, today is apparently “pregnant celebrities on the cover of magazines” day, so here comes Jessica Simpson pulling a Demi Moore for Elle magazine by baring it all. From Today:

Heavily pregnant Simpson, 31, poses nude on the April cover of Elle magazine; Demi Moore, 49, did the same for the cover of Vanity Fair in August 1991 when she was pregnant with daughter Scout LaRue. That’s not the only news-making tidbit the first-time mom-to-be has in store — Simpson also reveals to the mag that she’s having a baby girl! “She,” Simpson, engaged to former NFL pro Eric Johnson, says of the baby.

While I would just hate to disagree with the many internet assholes saying that Jessica is fat or she was photoshopped, I have to give her credit: she looks great. Get it, gurl!

Snooki is really pregnant!

Well, to the shock and surprise of pretty much no one at this point, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi managed to snag a deal with Us Weekly to announce that she was pregnant and engaged on their latest cover. Well, not so much “announce” as “confirm” since she spent the better part of the week walking around looking insanely preggers with a massive ring on her finger. Not exactly the best way to hide that shocker.

After weeks of rumors, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi confirms exclusively in the new Us Weekly that she is 15 weeks pregnant — and engaged to the father, beau of one and a half years Jionni LaValle. And the Jersey Shore star and LaValle, both 24, know just what detractors are thinking, they tell Us. “I have different priorities now,” reformed party girl Snooki says. “I don’t care what anybody else thinks. As long as I know I’m ready and he’s ready.” Adds LaValle: “We are not going to screw this up.”

Look, Snooki might be kind of an idiot, which is admittedly like saying that puppies are sorta cute or that Paula Deen is a smidge overweight, but it’s good to see that she understands the gravity of raising a kid and isn’t just going to turn this into some sort of party game. And as long as she doesn’t buy a crib outfitted with tanning booth lights, I think her baby should be fine in the long run … hopefully.

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi - Us Weekly

Heaven Help Us: Snooki is pregnant!

Remember how earlier in the month, Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was rumored to be preggers, which everyone just sort of wrote off as Snooki eating way too many pickles and walking around with a food baby? Well, turns out she might have been pregnant all along, and she was just hiding it so that she could score a sweet cover story (and paycheck) from Us Weekly. Page Six reports:

Sources said the reality star, who denied being preggers earlier this month, has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines.

But sources tell Page Six that MTV is worried about how to manage the news, given that Polizzi’s hard-partying, booze-swilling ways have just been turned into a Jersey Shore spinoff with Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley, which has begun shooting in New Jersey.

“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. ” The untitled new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies’ relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way.

Oh you know MTV is freaking the shit out over this.

MTV Exec #1: Well … we’re up shit’s creek. How are we supposed to create a pregnancy show without teenage, redneck whores?
MTV Exec #2: Don’t worry, I think this will take care of itself.
MTV Exec #1: How so?
Snooki: WHO WANTS TO DO SHOTS?! WOOOOOOO!!!
MTV Exec #1: Oh good God …

Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

Drew Barrymore might be pregnant!

As we all know, celebrity pregnancies are what happens when a famous man and a famous woman who love each other very much bonk uglies in order to create a million dollar People magazine cover story. I mean a baby. Yes, babies. Anyway, it’s important for celebs to stay on top of that news and keep it from leaking, otherwise they’ll lose their cover story money. Like Drew Barrymore, who is trying to hide the fact that she might be pregnant right now even though it’s all kinds of obvious. TMZ reports:

Drew Barrymore was clutching what appears to be sonogram results as she left a doctors office in Beverly Hills with her fiance late last week … soooooo … is Drew pregnant?!?!? Here are the facts: Drew is engaged to Will Kopelman, a 34-year-old art consultant … who popped the question just a few months ago. That’s pretty much it for the facts.

You know what? I’m just going to go ahead and guess “preggers” anyway, because no gossip blog will ever report that someone isn’t pregnant, so much as they’ll just forget about it and pretend the guessing never occurred. Although you best believe they will report the shit out of it if they are pregnant, which means that either way I’m pretty much set here. Yay blogging! It’s like journalism, but not really!

Drew Barrymore and Will Kopelman

Mariah Carey bares her pregnant belly!

Mariah Carey is ready to be a mommy to twins, a boy and a girl should be arriving very soon, complete with silver spoons or possibly butterflies in their mouths! Check her out below looking huge while doing her best Demi Moore pose on the cover of the latest issue of Life & Style magazine!

Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey has posed for her fair share of portraits, but none has been as personal or emotional as these exclusive belly-baring snaps. Mere days away from welcoming her first and second child, Mariah proudly showed off her pregnant body to Life & Style.

“I was feeling very vulnerable about taking pictures at all right now, but then I didn’t want to miss this opportunity to document this once-in-a-lifetime experience,” Mariah exclusively tells Life & Style. “My ultimate goal was to share this incredibly personal moment with my true fans.”

And the twins — a boy and a girl — were clearly ready for their closeups.

“The babies were kicking almost the entire time; it was unbelievable,” Mariah tells Life & Style. “Especially the girl — clearly she’s a diva in training! We didn’t start shooting until 1:30 a.m. because I was in the hospital from the night before until the day of the shoot with contractions five minutes apart!”

Indeed, although Mariah’s not due for a few weeks, the twins could be making their grand entrance sooner rather than later. Contractions sent mom to the hospital on March 27. But for now, Mariah and soon-to-be-dad Nick Cannon are simply reveling in their twin bliss! And Nick says he is more attracted to his wife than ever. “I thought I couldn’t love Mariah more,” he tells Life & Style. “But I have a whole new appreciation and admiration for her.”

Mariah adds, “Now I have so much respect for mothers everywhere, especially those who’ve had difficult pregnancies or given birth to multiples. We need to have Mother’s Day once a week!” SOURCE

Mariah Carey

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