Ignore for a moment the obvious issue of campaign finance reform this brings up. Ignore for a moment the insane amount of money the richest of the rich will give to candidates for the sake of keeping their own personal interests in check. Ignore for a moment that technically speaking, this is essentially the thinking behind bribery. Ignore for a moment how bitterly divided Americans are on key issues, because in this video, Sarah Silverman scissors her dog. SARAH SILVERMAN SCISSORS HER DOG DUCK.
O’ beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain …
Yes, it’s that time of the year, where a famous comedian roasts the President in a weird, socially awkward attempt at convincing the country that congress actually has a sense of humor about itself. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t have pretended that John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi are intelligent representatives. Anyway, Jimmy Kimmel and President Barack Obama both did stand-up bits, both of them were pretty good, if not great. Also this weekend, FOX News finally proved how much they hated the President by invitingKim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan to the event. Yes, Greta Van Susteren will throw a shit fit over Louis C.K., but will gladly invite a washed up starlet and a useless famewhore? Nicely done.
So New Jersey’s governor Chris Christie took time out from maybe-or-maybe-not running unsuccessfully for president (can you decide already so that you can lose your bid to Mitt Romney?) to announce that Jersey Shore would no longer be receiving tax breaks from the state so that they can film eight filthy whores drink and punch and cry. Via The Slate:
Dubbed the “Snooki subsidy,” the tax credit is part of a $10 million state program that grants eligible film and TV production companies a 20-percent tax credit on their expenses in New Jersey. According to USA Today, the MTV program brings in additional jobs and millions of dollars to the state. So why’d you veto the break, bro? “I have no interest in policing the content of such projects,” the Republican governor said in a statement. “However, as chief executive I am duty-bound to ensure that taxpayers are not footing a $420,000 bill for a project which does nothing more than perpetuate misconceptions about the state and its citizens.”
All right, so on one hand, deciding which shows do and do not get tax breaks based entirely on your own personal tastes? Shitty policy. But then I remembered that Jersey Shore practically prints money, most of which goes to either MTV or the gaggle of syphilitic fetal-alcohol-syndrome babies they film running around being shitty all day. And as for the jobs … once again, most of those are from the cast themselves, so I’m pretty sure they can just balance the budget by selling Deena to a glue factory. The courts would probably consider it a mercy killing.
For some reason, people want George Clooney to run for president, I’m guessing because relatively speaking he’s pretty savvy and incredibly likable. But sadly, our dream of president Clooney (and V.P. Brad Pitt) will never come to fruition because Clooney is smart enough to know that it’s a shit gig. According to People:
Downplaying any interest in running for higher office, the Ides of March director said at the Venice Film Festival: “If I make a mistake it’s not going to cost 100,000 people their lives. I’m very happy telling stories. Films don’t hurt people. They just get badly reviewed sometimes.” Clooney, 50, added: “I have a very nice life. I get to hang out with various seductive people, so I’ve no interest in [running for office].”
Thank God too! Who in the hell would want a job where you can run on a platform of dumbing down America, keeping kids from receiving health care and keeping LGBT people down because a 2,000-year-old book that says a shrimp cocktail is a mortal sin tells you to, AND ACTUALLY BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AS A CANDIDATE? Thank heavens we don’t have that in Canada. Unless you count Rob Ford. Other than that, we’re boring as shit.