Myla Sinanaj is ready to talk Kim Kardashian
You know, sometimes it’s just good to hear it from someone other than yourself. Anyway, it turns out Kris Humphries' ex-girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj, is going to sit for a deposition in Kim Kardashian's divorce case (I have no idea why, just go with it). The sad thing is, the entire case would be open and shut with eight magical words: “She did it for a reality TV show.” BOOM. Done. TMZ reports …
TMZ has learned … Myla is telling friends she will testify that Kris repeatedly told her Kim defrauded him in the marriage, grousing that he “got played.” Kris is fighting the divorce, insisting on an annulment based on fraud. Kris claims Kim never loved him and married him only to spike ratings on her reality show. Myla says Kris — who made hundreds of thousands of dollars off Keeping Up with the Kardashians as well as the wedding special — “hated the cameras and his life being on display.” Myla is telling friends her relationship with Kris is “dead,” so she has nothing to lose by telling the truth, and therefore she will be “100% honest” in answering questions during the depo.
No, seriously, why are they turning this into drama? Kim created a big fake sham wedding and got rich off of it. Creating big fake sham things and getting rich off of them is kind of the Kardashians’ business plan. Hell, I’m pretty sure they have that printed in bold letters across the top of their stationary. If you pull the string on a Kardashian brand doll, it says “I create big fake sham things and you buy them you moron!” I don’t know what else she needs to do before this becomes any clearer.
PS Today would have marked Kim and Kris’ one-year wedding anniversary, my how things change!
Kris Humphries didn’t knock up Myla Sinanaj
A couple days ago, the press was breathlessly reporting on how Kris Humphries knocked up his ex, Myla Sinanaj, and everyone believed it because getting tricked into relationships by stupid dumpy whores is kind of Kris’ wheelhouse. Fast forward to today, where it turns out Myla revealed that she basically pulled a Tila Tequila and made up the whole pregnancy bit for attention. TMZ reports:
Myla was out in Jersey earlier today, where a photog asked her straight — are you pregnant or not? Myla responded, “I am definitely not pregnant.” What Myla DOESN’T explain is why she texted her lawyer Friday night that she WAS pregnant — and why she told numerous other people, including Kris, that she was expecting. Myla’s latest version is that people just started talking and, “Of course, me not being a size zero kept it going.”
Here’s how I’m assuming this happened (note: I’m absolutely not saying this is what happened, just that I think this is what happened based on everyone involved being stupid, crazy, attention-starved, or any combination thereof):
Kris Jenner: Hello, Myla. I heard you dated my daughter’s sloppy seconds. How would you feel about making up a pregnancy for the sake of bringing him some bad press and attention?
Myla: This is the best idea ever. “Hey everyone, I’m pregnant!”
Kris Humphries’ attorney: You do realize if you’re not pregnant we can sue the cellulite off your thunder thighs, right?
Myla: Did I say pregnant? I meant … not … that. So do I still get my money.
Kris Jenner: What money?
Myla: Damn, I was tricked!
Kris Jenner had Kim Kardashian re-shoot her sex tape?
Every fiber of my being believes this is a screaming “YES” because stupid famewhores and sex tapes are kind of squarely in my wheelhouse, but for now the best we can say is “allegedly, yes.” Anyway, Kris Humphries recently dumped his girlfriend, who’s using the opportunity to sell every little bit of info he sent her way, up to and including the fact that Kris Jenner allegedly made her daughter Kim Kardashian re-shoot her now infamous sex tape because it just wasn’t pretty enough. TMZ reports:
Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj … telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn’t think the first one was pretty enough. As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim’s divorce case, and we’ve learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.
Wait, people are surprised by this? You’re kidding right? If this is true, this would quite possibly be the most sensible thing I’ve ever written. Honestly, I could write a post about how the sky is blue and food is delicious and water is wet and it would still not illicit as many “well d’uh”s as a post about how Kris would force her kids to perform thinly-veiled publicity stunts for the sake of attention.