Kris Humphries got signed to Jay-Z’s team. Hmmm …

All right, before I break this one down into tasty, delicious morsels of rich people being passive-aggressively bitchy too each other, read this piece from TMZ and try to read between the lines:

Kris Humphries doesn’t need Kim Kardashian to make a living … ‘cause dude just signed a $24 MILLION contract with the Brooklyn Nets. It’s a 2-year deal according to ESPN … which means Kris got one helluva raise — his previous contract was a 1-year deal worth $8 mil. Not bad … considering the Nets are partially owned by Jay Z … who’s best friends with Kanye West … who’s still banging Kris’ estranged wife. Kanye also recently bragged that he could have J fire Kris whenever he wants.

All right, so remember when Kanye West first started dating Kim Kardashian, he basically wrote a song saying he could have Kris Humphries fired at any time? You do? Good, moving on: Remember how BeyoncĂ© and Jay-Z wanted noting to do with Kim at all and how hard she’s been trying to weasel her way into their lives? You do? Excellent, then you know where this is going: Jay-Z got revenge on Kanye for bringing a piss-soaked whore into the lives of him, his wife, and daughter by hiring said piss-soaked whore’s ex-husband and basically neutering any and all of Kanye’s threats. Jay, you are shady as hell, yet I adore you for it, you magnificent bastard.

Kris Humphries

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